Еnglish Club

A Latter

I was being felled in laf with her antil shi laid mi with John. Will you can tu help mi tu andestend wai wimans are sach cruel crichaz? Off'coz I can did it without yor help, hauever, I hardly nid yor onion abaut that. Did yu was in sach oful situeishin?

Wen I felled in laf with her fo the fist taim I emmidiatly bot branch of flours and botl fo Shampain. Shi refuzd tu meri mi, sou I decided tu weit. I weitid end weitid, bat nathin hapend. Sou I decidid tu gou oll in the bank and fainely solv the problem. Wai don’t u lav mi? – askt ai her.  Of coz yu Inglish is not acjuret inaf, - sed shi.

Giving reasons for not showing up

1.
Dear tearcher, I have already missed  a today's class  because I had been attacked by the big voodoo doll that  blocked my way to the school. So I was to have to return home. On my one way ticket home, escaping from the voodoo doll, I felled down and had broke my knee and another leg, and then I'll not can to go to school for few days because I broke my knee and another leg.

2.
Dear Mr. Brown, I missed today's geography lesson because I was sitting for it all night and only fell asleep in the morning, and I overslept.


3.
Dear Mrs Shawgemyere,
I have missed the classes for a number of reasons with the first one to reveal I wasn't having any handkerchiefs before I was leaving home, and with my running nose that would've been more than extraordinary as you may imagine. So I decided to stay home and start looking for my handkerchiefs. At the moment I found my last handkerchief the schooltime was over.

4.
Dear Mr Cakebread,
Unfortunately, I didn't get to your class today because I lost my cufflink. I'd been looking for it all morning and I didn’t find it. What could I do? So, I went to my imaginary classes. I imagined walking into the classroom and sitting at my desk and listening to your pleasant voice. The lesson was extremely interesting, and I want to thank you now for this lesson. Unfortunately, I missed the homework you were giving us… Anyways, I love your classes! See you in the next class!